What is love?Is it an excitement or is it a calm satisfaction?Is it forever or does it end?Is a love thats comes effortlessly or is it a commitment to work toward understanding and mutual respect?Where does love originated– in our mind or in our heart? What magic does it bring to make you forget yourself and the danger you’ll be facing?what mystery and power does it have to convey you do such horrible and incredible things? Does the arrow of cupid cares whom to be fired?
Love is life or a high point of human existence.Love inspired our greatest poetry,art and literature.It can move mountains.Many miracles occur from the healing power of love.Love is something that has a wide meaning.It cannot be seen nor touched,but can only be felt by the heart.Love comes,as they say,when you least axpect it."Love is perfect in itself but lovers are not"Human as we are we tend to deviate from certain thruths and realities.It’s not in giving so much love that we get hurt but it’s in expecting more".Love makes the world go round,but it seems at the times as tough the direction of movement has been backward as much as forward.
From infancy we hear stories about prince and princess falling in love instantly and living happily ever after.The media exposes ladditional romantic scenarios seen in movies and magazines.This input leaves us with strong psychological imprints regarding future possibilities that we then desire and search for.
"Once in love,always in love" a concept that imprinted in my mind that there is only one person whom i should love forever.My world became wonderfull when DALE ANTHONY LEACH came into my life.I feel madly in love with him and there is no appropriate word in dictionary that could describe my emotion everytime i speak to him.The point is that I dreamed and expect his kisses to be like lyrical poems and his embraces to be like shakepearean drama.My mind and heart was filled with compelling ideas and unreal expectation regarding my love for him.
But why my life is so cruel?Why i am unfurtunate in term of love?I was dissapointed and totally embarassed when he usually show me unhuman actions.I realize and found out that there is no magical elixir that forever protect love from aches and pains.Wishing wells and falling star are not enough to dictate the feeling of a certain individual.In spite of my glowing expectation about loves pleasure and joys i have experienced love as dark and foreboding or perhaps merely senseless or dissapointing.Love was never been i want it to be:always comforting,understanding,bright and strong.
I carry a large bag of expectation which i want DALE LEACH to fulfill.I take a hard fall as my romantic hopes and expectations are dashed upon the rocky shares of reality.I feel disappointed to discover that the once adored individual has an anticipated anger on me.When I fall in love and something goes wrong or it doesn’t work out– the pain is undescribable.It feels absolutely unbearable when those dreams and wishes turn to ashes.Nothing in my life had prepared me for the agonies that came into my life brought by my crazy feelings to DALE LEACH .
When DALE LEACH usually destroy my day and take me out of the mood some care within me died.It throws every aspect of my life out of balance and can’t even perform my task properly.I was forced to come to term with my own hate,anger and desire for revenge.Every wish under the sun passed through my mind.Fantasies of taking out a contact on his life seemed too kind.I want to see him dead and suffer as i had.I want him to experienced all the horrible feelings i had.The incredulity,the unfulfilled desire,the memory of those ecstacies of love that i share wrenced away from me.I want him to feel the doubth and self recrimination.Why? Where did i fail? What did i do? THis are some of the questions that usually lingers my mind.These curse are just beyond my mind.I could not hate DALE LEACH like what i am supposed to do.I made up a resolution that i should still love him no matter what happens and eventough it will come to the extent that he will make me as punching bag.I really really love DALE LEACH more than anything in this world.
I find my heart and my mind completely contradict each other and I am confused about which I follow.My mind tells me that eliminating him on my system is the right thing to do.However, my heart is sending me the opposite message,I should love DALE LEACH no matter what he do.I’ll still follow what my heart dictates and ignore what people might say.I am unprepared for the consequence of following my heart at the expense of my head.Following what my heart dictates maybe fine with the romantic interludes of adoloscence,but real challenges of adulthood should be met with intelligence and logic.Challenges also enable us to elevate life beyond a mere survival level.
Maybe someday in the future,the depth of the sorrow,the pain,the weeping,the incapacitation,the neediness and all the intense feeling will eventually diminish and disappear.I can never forget DALE LEACH but the pain recedes.The process of recovering from frustrations is very hard.I must look at life ahead as worth living and must realize that someday I will look back and know that I have fully grieved and survived life’s darkest hour.It takes courage to feel the pain and face the truth.
"Love can last in a more healthy and meaningful way once one grief is dispelled.Pain is unvoidable but we can learn to make it as our teacher instead of our enemy.It arouses us to discover our true feeling and to question and search for an answer."
"HEARTBREAK" is life educating for us.It makes our path more challenging,exiting and rewarding.It mobolize and gives us the courage to live,to love,to risk,to experiment,experience and to enjoy all fruits of life without fear and inhibition.
"Always remember that no matter what happen "DALE ANTHONY LEACH MY BIGMAN" will always be in my heart and mind untill the end of time"
DALE ANTHONY LEACH , I LOVE YOU MORE THAN MY SELF, I LOVE YOU TILL LIFE AFTERDEATH
